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They know they won't put her back in West Oaks, but they really don't have too many other options. Emergency room runs usually are a disaster; upset by her surroundings, Amanda runs through the room hurting other patients, Loretta says. They don't want to put her in another psychiatric hospital. An autistic treatment center might be the answer; there are only a few in this area, and funding is tricky. Autistic service dogs are supposed to be calming miracle workers, but they cost $6,000, Loretta says.
She wrote a poem to Amanda, working out some of her frustrations, but declaring her love for her at the same time. It reads, in part:
I hate your disabilities and all that goes with it
But without those disabilities I wouldn't have the Amanda I know and love
You are my Amanda my sweet little Amanda
"The only option I have is to take care of her myself with the help of Tabitha," Loretta says. "I don't know what there is out there for parents like myself, but I can guarantee you it's not hospitalization. You don't know what's going on behind their doors."